Hope drew another deep
breath. “Okay, so yeah, Lokmi knows what he’s doing. I liked what he did. A
lot. But I kind of feel as if I shouldn’t have.”
“Because of the religious rulings which
say no sex outside of your marriages?”
“That part makes me feel guilty,
nothing else. Though not guilty enough to keep me from doing it again if the
chance presented itself.”
Piras snickered. “Lokmi would be
glad to hear it.”
“You’re a Dramok, the breed that
likes controlling situations, right? The thing is, I’m used to being in control
of stuff also. Sure, I defer to my father in matters of our rebellion, because
he’s an expert. But I lead in a lot of things too.”
Piras nodded, but his face had
become unreadable. “You have a strong will.”
“I’m comfortable in taking the
lead. I’ve never been much of a follower, unless I have confidence in who is in
the charge.” She slammed a fist on the surface of the desk, her frustration
coming out. “I sure as hell don’t go around handing off control to strange men
I barely know, even if they do understand more about sex, or whatever else is
going on. I—what’s so funny?”
She’d broken off because Piras was
grinning again. He managed a diplomatic tone, however. “I’m amused because you
sound a lot like Lokmi. He dominated your, um, interaction?”
Hope lowered her gaze to stare at
the empty bowl in front of her. “Yes.”
“And you found it pleasurable?”
“I hate to admit it.”
“A part of Lokmi hates it when
Kila wins the right to dominate him. Our Imdiko does enjoy being topped in sex
with the right person, but a part of him says he shouldn’t. His Dramok half
drives him insane in that regard.”
Hope digested the information. Was
her investment in being strong why she had such issues? Was that why she
couldn’t quite believe the positive reaction she’d had when she’d surrendered
to Lokmi? It made sense. “How does he handle it?” she asked.
“He and Kila fight for the right
to be on top. When Lokmi loses, Kila takes care to give him all the pleasure he
needs. It helps him get over being on bottom. Lokmi does the same for Kila,
though Kila doesn’t mind losing a fair fight.”
Hope had a vision of the two
muscular men wrestling against each other, trying to overcome one another.
Naked. The idea was titillating, exciting her—which made her feel embarrassed
all over again.
She dived into the question that
she prayed would clear all unwanted thoughts from her mind. “What about you?
You haven’t said anything about how Lokmi copes with you being in charge.”
Piras regarded her, his expression
inscrutable. He stared at her for so long, Hope thought she’d somehow insulted
him. She was on the verge of telling him to never mind when he shrugged, a look
of loss flitting over his face. “I am never in charge when it comes to sex. I
do not enjoy taking the lead in intimate situations. I am submissive in that
regard.”
Hope gaped at him. The in-command
Dramok, leader of his clan, an admiral of the Kalquorian fleet—submissive to
others? “You prefer it?”
“I would venture to say that
preference isn’t the issue. I require dominant lovers.”
“You never—with Lokmi or Kila?”
“I get very little out of being in
control of my clanmates’ sensual pleasure. Sex is the one place I do not feel I
need to hold the power, so I surrender to them.”
Hope turned Piras’s admission over
in her mind. She tried to imagine it, a man who allowed his lovers to command
him. She’d never seen such a thing, though she’d seen next to nothing of sex
before Lokmi in any case.
On Earth, it had been accepted
that women were to submit to their husbands. Men ran the show. That was how
it was.
Except Dad and Mom always discussed decisions for the family and the
revolution like equals. Dad never treated her like she was less, unless they
were in front of important people who might think her out of place. Then she
behaved like an obedient wife. She was meek, as we were all told to be by the
state.
It was a dictate Hope had always
despised. Yet like her mother, she’d been careful in the presence of those
outside her family. Docile. Deferential. Never letting the men see how she
seethed inside to be treated as less.
“What are you thinking, Hope?”
Piras’s voice brought her out of
reverie. Hope gazed at him to find him regarding her with a calm,
straightforward gaze. He looked at her as if he had nothing to be embarrassed
about.
If a man like Piras had no need
for shame because he turned acquiescent when making love, then Hope doing the
same with Lokmi meant she had nothing to be chagrined about either. If
sometimes she liked giving herself to a strong, willful man, then it was all
right.
And if sometimes she wanted to be
the one in charge…
Feeling emboldened by Piras’s easy
acceptance, she mused out loud. “It makes me wonder many things. Like how it
would be, as a woman, to have control over a man during sex?”
“If you want to find out, I’m
agreeable. Would you like to make love and dominate me?”
Releasing Friday
No comments:
Post a Comment