Q: Can a matara be in a clan that is not into BDSM OR public displays, or is pain/punishment/voyerism just a part of Kalqorian society?
A: The Kalquorians, as a rule, are dominant personalities. The Nobeks particularly get into pain--giving and taking. The Dramoks usually insist on demonstrating they are in control and having lovers acknowledge that control. Some such elements are going to be a part of the Kalquorian men's makeup in most cases, though for Dramoks and Imdikos, it may be acceptable for lovers to simply hand over control without the pain or punishment elements.
As to a Matara who is into none of that, it will take compromises on both sides to make intimacy work within a full clan. Not impossible, but it would have to be carefully addressed.
Thanks for the question!
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