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A Nobek father's pain
* * *
*
After returning home, Conyod still had occasional bouts of
the insomnia that had plagued him before he’d run away from home. He’d been
unable to sleep the night following his conversation with Sletran and his
latest invitation to come to the ranch had been gently refused. Plots swirled
in his head on how to get the Nobek to stop considering him a mere child. They
all bordered on ridiculous and Conyod knew it, but he couldn’t stop concocting
them.
After tossing for hours, he quit trying to fall asleep. It
was two hours until daylight, but he got up, dressed, and went to the stables.
He sat cross-legged on the ground outside Elbmur and Dresk’s
stall, watching the foal sleep in the long curve of his mother’s neck. Trading
fantasies of happily-ever-after with Sletran for the more realistic plans of
training his kestarsh brought calm, as did the pre-dawn quiet of the slumbering
world. Conyod had snagged a blanket smelling of the musky kestarsh to snuggle
in against the chill. Its warmth and a sense of contentment pervaded his
senses. He finally began to feel sleepy.
He was just about to lie on the straw-covered ground when he
saw movement at the corner of his eye. He looked in that direction and saw
nothing but the shadowed entrance of the wooden stable. No sound. None of the
kestarsh reacted, as they would should a stranger enter.
Nonetheless, Conyod’s instincts were alert, as if he hadn’t
been on the verge of slumber seconds ago. His first thought was for the ghost
known for haunting the area before he’d been placed in the psychiatric
facility, but it hadn’t been glimpsed in years.
He summoned his courage despite his pounding heart. “Who’s
there?”
A familiar figure glided from the shadows. “You have the
senses of a Nobek, my son,” Vel said.
The old feeling of crowding prickled his skin. He couldn’t
mask the accusation from his tone. “Are you up early? Or following me?”
“I heard you get up. I only wanted to check on you and make
sure you’re all right.” Vel came closer and crouched next to him. “I’m doing my
best not to smother you, my son. I’m…I’m struggling though.”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Conyod forced himself to
relax. Next to Lafec, Vel had the hardest time controlling his need to know
where the youth was at any given moment.
“I can’t help worrying about you. I lost your brother. It
would destroy me if anything happened to you too.”
It was as close as speaking the words “I love you” as a
Nobek could come to another grown, or nearly grown, man. Moreover, Conyod had
never heard Vel admit to anything he could construe as a weakness. Saying he
might be unable to keep his child from harm and how it would affect him if it
came to pass was the sort of soul-bearing Conyod would have doubted Vel was
capable of.
His father was trying. It came to Conyod suddenly
that Vel was perhaps doing as well as he was able when it came to letting him
grow up normally. It simultaneously filled and broke the teen’s heart.
This may be as hands-off as it’ll get where Vel’s
concerned. Same for Mother.
He’d have to accept it if he were to manage a decent
relationship with his parents.
Conyod offered Vel a tight smile. “What do you think of
Dresk? You haven’t said much, at least around me.”
Vel appeared relieved he’d switched subjects. “You can’t
argue against good heritage where his sire and dam are concerned. As far as
Dresk himself is concerned, he has excellent physical lines early. He used all
six legs for walking, right out of the gate, rather than depending on the
middle set for mere stability as most foals do.”
“I noticed it also. It’s a rare trait, isn’t it?”
They spent the next half hour discussing the newborn
kestarsh before starting the day’s tasks. Though Conyod guessed the future
would continue to see him bristling at Vel’s overprotectiveness, he at least
felt he’d been given enough of a glimpse into his Nobek father’s heart to bear
it.
* * *
*
He
needed a hero and found two. Can love rescue him again?
Nobek
Sletran never took Imdiko Conyod’s infatuation seriously when he rescued him
years before. When Conyod shows up in his life again as a strong and successful
man instead of a traumatized victim, Sletran has to reconsider the one he once
rejected and now can’t imagine life without.
Conyod has
never given up on the man he considers his hero. Sletran is all he’s ever
wanted for a clanmate, and he’s determined to win him at last. But the past refuses
to be laid to rest. When Conyod convinces Sletran to see him for who he’s
become, will who he was resurface and destroy the love they’re building?
Sletran’s
commanding officer Dramok Erybet is instantly fascinated by Conyod when the
soldier brings his love on base for a visit. However, Sletran isn’t the Nobek
Erybet feels is right for him. When he rejects the Nobek, he risks losing
Conyod too.
Against
the backdrop of heartbreaking childhood tragedy, a ghost who haunts Conyod and
his grief-stricken family, and military brass determined to oust Erybet from
the rank he’s worked so hard to reach, three men must come to terms with who
they are. When tragedy strikes, the nightmares of the past must be faced and
buried once and for all. Conyod, Sletran, and Erybet must dare everything to
find redemption and hold on to each other.
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