This wasn't supposed to happen...
“What were you thinking just now?”
That I want what I have no business desiring.
She shoved that aside, opting for an answer that didn’t feel like a
betrayal to Briel. “It’s only been two days, but I enjoy being pregnant. I
feel—” She paused, searching for the right word.
“Complete?”
Ugh, why did people always equate a woman having children with achieving
life’s greatest goal? “I don’t believe you have to have someone else in your
life or a baby to be complete. Though it’s been a goal of mine, one which repeated failures of have caused great grief, I’m a perfectly whole person on
my own.”
“I’ve struck a nerve. No offense was intended.”
Maryam drew a breath. “Sorry. Coping with being seen as less because I
couldn’t have children has made me somewhat sensitive to the subject. I didn’t
mean to bite your head off.”
Pana patted his skull. “Head still intact. Whew.”
She laughed. How had Briel missed so much of the good in him?
He returned to the earlier subject. “You were saying you like being
pregnant, that it makes you feel—?”
“Expansive. Yes, that’s what I wanted to say. That I have more than I did
before, even though it’s not my child.”
Pana grew serious, his gaze contemplative once again. “You carry him. I
think that makes him partly yours, in some sense. You might not have conceived
him, but you give him life. It looks good on you.”
Again, Maryam was reminded of the clandestine attraction she had for him.
She abruptly realized she leaned toward him, yearning drawing her close,
against her conscious will.
He must have felt it too, because he moved in her direction, leaning down.
His purple eyes filled her vision.
This can’t happen. Step away, Maryam. Put distance between the two of
you right now.
Instead, she rose up on her toes to meet him. His arms were strong around
her, pressing her against his body. His lips were soft and cautious, making her
lightheaded as they drifted against hers.
All thought disappeared as she
gave herself to Pana’s kiss.
Releasing late 2019.
:)
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