Today however, Michaela’s thoughts were far from Israla’s kindnesses. She wasn’t really concentrating on her steps either, though the Coming of Age Festival, which she and Jessica had agreed to dance at, was only a few days away. Instead, Michaela kept thinking about Clan Korkla.
She didn’t want to think about the three men that made up the clan. They were the last people she wanted on her mind, yet they refused to stay out of her head. As a result, her dance moves were hectic instead of seductive. In the mirrors, Michaela looked more like she was challenging someone to fight instead of entreating them to fuck her.
It was no wonder. Last night had left her angry and hurt and frustrated. Michaela simply couldn’t figure out what Korkla, Govi, and Raxstad were about. They seemed to want her, but they wouldn’t do more than tease. Govi in particular was driving her crazy with his caution.
If only they’d ignore her fears and fuck her! Sure, she was scared. Michaela had admitted that to them. She was terrified, not simply because it would be her first time, but because she worried that her freakish body would somehow betray her. Or, even worse, the men would discover they were revolted by her after all.
Yet Michaela knew that until that barrier was crossed, she would remain frightened. Nothing but committing the act of sex would remove the fear. Until fucking happened, terror would remain.
The only thing that kept her sane right now was that the clan kept coming around to see her. That meant they were at least still curious, if not outright serious. Yet they refused to do the one thing that would show Michaela they truly wanted her, that she didn’t disgust them.
As she thought these many thoughts, she moved in a frenzy across the floor. Michaela had been dancing nonstop for over an hour now, yet she could not manage to lose herself in the steps as she usually did. She was panting, exhausted from pushing herself so hard. Yet frustration wouldn’t ease for a moment. Her thoughts refused to stop chasing around her head.
It didn’t help that Korkla had left a message on her com first thing this morning. It had been the sound of the device going off that had woken Michaela. Her anger had been sparked by his careful voice telling her she had to meet with his clan to discuss the issues of the night before.
Her hips gyrating violently, Michaela yelled to the mirrored room, “You idiots! The issue is you want to talk rather than do! If you want me, show me!”
The outburst finally did her in. Michaela’s legs folded beneath her, trembling and weak. She dropped to the floor, heaving for breath. Michaela rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.
How could she make this happen? How could she attract and keep those three wonderful but reluctant men? Or should she simply give up now before her pride was damaged any further?
Michaela unleashed a grief-filled moan, feeling the impossibility of the situation. If only she was a real woman. Since that was never going to happen, she thought that until she could figure out a way to make Clan Korkla hers, there was no point in seeing them again.
No release date set.