Saturday, January 11, 2014

Monsters Need Not Apply



In the last few months I’ve been hearing quite a bit about naughty books that fall under the label ‘monster erotica’.  These are stories that feature intimate encounters with dinosaurs, Bigfoot, and other critters one doesn't typically associate with getting sexy.




 The raptor cover makes me laugh.  Is it just me, or does that dino look like a drunk frat guy saying, Oh boy.  Boobies!

This is certainly on the fringe of what one would expect to find titillating.  Of course, I write about double-donged aliens, so who am I to judge?  Yet I just can’t figure out who would be excited at the thought of being frisky with a T. Rex or Sasquatch.  For one thing, when I’m fantasizing about getting eaten, it rarely includes the threat of actually getting eaten.  And getting it on with a hairy, smelly creature that makes me think of an unwashed Chewbacca?  Um, no.  But that’s just me.

 
Put your pants on, boys.  So not gonna happen.


I can’t even summon the curiosity to read one of these books.  I have no idea if they’re well-written and edited.  I don’t know if there’s a good story behind it.  Does Bigfoot offer his human sweetie a bouquet of flowers he picked for her in the meadow?  Is there a heartwarming scene in which they make s’mores in his cave over a roaring campfire?  I don’t know and I don’t want to know.  Ditto for the dinos.

The truth is, we all have different things that turn us on.  As the Wiccan saying goes, ‘An it harm none, do as ye will’.  Hey, if you want to do the Triassic tango with a velociraptor in your wildest fantasies, have at it.  You’re not hurting me or mine, so go right ahead.  After all, I’m the chick watching the skies in the hope of hitching a ride on a flying saucer.  We’ve all got our thing.


Wrong ship.  Wrong alien.  Oops.


8 comments:

  1. Laughing hard here. Thanks Tracy, just made my break from house work worth it.

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  2. LOL, you know I'm going to HAVE to check out that Bigfoot book now!! I've seen the others. Have you seen the stuff animal 'furry' fetish books?!? There is something for everyone. Aliens are still top if my list too.

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    1. I knew I could count on you to take that chance, lol! Oh Lawd, stuffed animals? I will never look at my son's collection of loveys again without shuddering.

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  3. Oh my goodness. That was hilarious to read...and don't push yourself to 'get interested' in checking out any of those books if you're looking for an erotica with any sort of plot or wonderful style. I've been harassed, so to speak, into reading a few like them by girlfriends of mine that I'm beginning to believe have no taste in books.

    Of course, everyone has their own tastes. I'm just not into the 'monster' scene. Push my boundaries, but don't overshoot the universe, please.

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    1. No plot in 'Moan for Bigfoot'? Who'd have thought, lol. I'm wondering if there will be a sequel, something really kinky like 'Shaving Bigfoot'. ;)

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  4. I think my head is about to explode...that is just too bizarre to contemplate! At least Sasquatch or Bigfoot is humanoid...but dinosaurs? Total weirdness...

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  5. Ewwwwwww to the entire bunch...

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