Saturday, December 8, 2012

Random Saturday – A Kid in the Mix




Some time back, I read on Facebook a discussion about the lack of women with kids in erotica.  It was a thought-provoking conversation.  Obviously, there are problems aplenty when you put a child in such a book.  Little ones are not especially conducive to wild, spontaneous romps with a man (or three, as it happens often in my writing).  Not to mention it’s just a bit ... well, uncomfortable to have a kid running around in a story with strong sexual overtones.

But let’s be real here.  A lot of us are mothers, and just because we’ve had the blessing of bringing precious lives into the world doesn’t mean we’re ready to be put out to pasture!  Our vaginas don’t become some no-man’s land, sealed shut forever like a nuclear waste dump just because we’ve given birth.  We’re still very sexual beings, right?  At least we hope to be once the kid is sleeping through the night, going to sleep-overs, or off to college ... okay, it might be awhile before we can experience all the freedom and adequate rest to jump on the old man’s joystick like we used to.  But that doesn’t mean we don’t still dream of it.

Thinking about my Kalquorians, it became obvious to me that it was time to explore the relationship that would occur between a clan and a single mom, as well as her child/children.  I wondered how alien men would respond to a child not of their own making.  Of course, the Kalquorians already have some experience in that realm, since every man in the clan accepts fatherhood of all children their Matara gives birth to.  Still, one wonders how they will respond to a child that is not only not theirs, but not of their species. 

Me being me, I had to make it even more complicated by making the child special-needs.  ‘Write what you know’ as the saying goes, and I have had six years of experience with my own wonderful boy.  It was only natural I would go that route. 

It must be very daunting for some embarking on a new relationship when one of the participants has little ones, particularly kids who need extra attention that will often disrupt romantic plans.  It takes special people who will accept the situation.  It takes extra special people who will not only accept, but embrace wholeheartedly this package deal of mom (or dad) with kids. 

Fortunately, I have an amazing clan ready to take on the task.  Their Imdiko is a temple priest, one with an accepting, understanding heart.  His clanmates are pretty fab too, for that matter.  In Iris and Thomas, the heroine and her son of Alien Refuge, the three men find an instant affinity.  As Dramok Ospar says to Iris, “My spirit recognizes yours.”  And little Thomas is part of that too, acknowledged by the clan as the ‘son of our hearts’. 

Even I will admit, it’s not all about sex.  When a man (or three, lol) falls in love with not just a woman, but her children as well, it’s an amazing thing.  And as far as the sex is concerned, sure, things get a little complicated.  To me, that just makes it interesting.  Getting that alone time for my characters is like getting it for myself in real life:  difficult, rare, almost never spontaneous ... but all the more worthwhile when it does happen.

10 comments:

  1. Yep, nothing squashes spontaneous sex like the pitter patter of the the sex sheriff.

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    1. Sex sheriff, lol! It does 'arrest' all that activity.

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    2. Just wait. It gets worse before it gets better. Eventually they get old enough to recognize the squeak of bed springs when they hear it and they stay up later than you do.EEK

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  2. I must say I am very excited about this one coming out for sure! I love normal erotica, but real life situations and reality put into erotica makes it a more interesting read =) Single moms love sex too!

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    1. Absolutely! Why should the gals with no kids have all the fun?

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  3. Can't wait to see how you write this book, should be great like your others.

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  4. I have to say, my parents have been married since the beginning of time and my mom still say's one the most important things in a marriage is good sex! It was horrifying to walk in on them making out when I was a teenager but now that I have a husband and a kid I get it. My son walked in on us for the first time this past year (he was five) and immediately started stripping yelling gleefully he too wanted to wrestle like a roman soldier (naked)! *groan Most horrifying event, EVER!
    There is nothing like having an active sex life when you have a kid! It's fabulous (when we get a kid free 'naked day' we go at it like teenagers), frustrating (trying to sneak some loving with out getting caught!) and potentially embarrassing (I hope he doesn't remember the wresting as an adult!).

    I love, love that you are doing a single mom story!!

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    1. That's awesome. Hate to tell you this but he'll probably not only remember it but pop off with that story in front of your mother-in-law at Christmas dinner. The only consolation is that someday he'll be a teenager and you'll be the one embarrassing him. (You should write those stories down and save them. You'll want to read that stuff again in about 10 years. Trust me, remembering how adorable they were is why we don't kill them as teenagers.)

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    2. 'Wrestle like a roman soldier'! LMAO! That is so awesomely hilarious.

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  5. Oh God probably. lol It wouldn't be the first time he said something winning at a family get together. He is THAT kid! The only consultation is if he does remember he will most likely wish he hadn't!

    My brothers kids are 14,15,19,21. I've got a front row to all the horrors to come!

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