Some time back, I read on Facebook a discussion about the lack of women with kids in erotica. It was a thought-provoking conversation. Obviously, there are problems aplenty when you put a child in such a book. Little ones are not especially conducive to wild, spontaneous romps with a man (or three, as it happens often in my writing). Not to mention it’s just a bit ... well, uncomfortable to have a kid running around in a story with strong sexual overtones.
But let’s be real here. A lot of us are mothers, and just because we’ve had the blessing of bringing precious lives into the world doesn’t mean we’re ready to be put out to pasture! Our vaginas don’t become some no-man’s land, sealed shut forever like a nuclear waste dump just because we’ve given birth. We’re still very sexual beings, right? At least we hope to be once the kid is sleeping through the night, going to sleep-overs, or off to college ... okay, it might be awhile before we can experience all the freedom and adequate rest to jump on the old man’s joystick like we used to. But that doesn’t mean we don’t still dream of it.
Thinking about my Kalquorians, it became obvious to me that it was time to explore the relationship that would occur between a clan and a single mom, as well as her child/children. I wondered how alien men would respond to a child not of their own making. Of course, the Kalquorians already have some experience in that realm, since every man in the clan accepts fatherhood of all children their Matara gives birth to. Still, one wonders how they will respond to a child that is not only not theirs, but not of their species.
Me being me, I had to make it even more complicated by making the child special-needs. ‘Write what you know’ as the saying goes, and I have had six years of experience with my own wonderful boy. It was only natural I would go that route.
It must be very daunting for some embarking on a new relationship when one of the participants has little ones, particularly kids who need extra attention that will often disrupt romantic plans. It takes special people who will accept the situation. It takes extra special people who will not only accept, but embrace wholeheartedly this package deal of mom (or dad) with kids.
Fortunately, I have an amazing clan ready to take on the task. Their Imdiko is a temple priest, one with an accepting, understanding heart. His clanmates are pretty fab too, for that matter. In Iris and Thomas, the heroine and her son of Alien Refuge, the three men find an instant affinity. As Dramok Ospar says to Iris, “My spirit recognizes yours.” And little Thomas is part of that too, acknowledged by the clan as the ‘son of our hearts’.
Even I will admit, it’s not all about sex. When a man (or three, lol) falls in love with not just a woman, but her children as well, it’s an amazing thing. And as far as the sex is concerned, sure, things get a little complicated. To me, that just makes it interesting. Getting that alone time for my characters is like getting it for myself in real life: difficult, rare, almost never spontaneous ... but all the more worthwhile when it does happen.