(On vacation, so reposting blog that originally appeared 1/12/11)
I'm thinking hard about the menage fantasy these days. It's not only my favorite erotica to read, it's my favorite to write ... in case you haven't noticed. And why should a woman be ashamed of enjoying such diversions? Many men have dreamed of spectacular sex with two or more women at once. Why should they get all the fantasy fun?
It's delightful to imagine being surrounded by a wall of man-flesh, the hands and mouths stroking our hungry skin. In my case, the fantasy continues beyond the bedroom; once the loving is done, my dream men are cleaning my house, doing the yardwork, buying groceries, washing my car and entertaining my son while I take a nap. I say if you're going to dream, dream big.
Hmmm ... I just realized that's five men, more than I have -- ahem -- openings for. I guess they'll have to work in shifts.
Harems aside, I have a fascination for real life multi-partner relationships, and I'm not the only one. If you live in the states and haven't caught the hit cable show 'Sister Wives', peek out from under your rock once in awhile. It follows the lives of a Mormon and his four spouses (and a large number of children). It's popular enough that even Oprah has had this nontraditional family on her show. I like Oprah, but I admit to laughing myself giddy over her reaction to the family's joyful polygamy. She seemed absolutely stunned, treating her guests with the kind of shock reserved for rubbernecking at a really bad car accident.
Another show that caught my attention recently was an installment of 'Strange Sex', a series that covers the uncommon sexual situations run-of-the-mill people find themselves living. This particular episode followed the lives of a polyamorous threesome. This little family consists of one female and two males. They live together and sometimes date outside of their group. Now these folks apparently don't engage in menage a trois, the two males preferring one-on-one with their shared gal, but it's definitely a nontraditional arrangement nonetheless. And they seem happy.
Of course you'll have people righteously arguing against such relationships, pointing out how unnatural it seems. Given our religious and societal conditioning, I can understand that. I also recognize how jealous (and insanely furious) I would be if my husband dared to suggest I share him with another woman. And bringing another man into the mix? Oh no. One man is more than enough work to live with. Having the extra drama and dirty laundry would be cause to join a convent. In fantasy, there is no laundry. I'll stick to pretend.
Those difficulties notwithstanding, I can understand how the polyamorous relationship would work. After all, many of us give birth to more than one child, and our hearts easily make room for those extra little people. We love more than one parent, sometimes even adding stepparents to the mix. The heart is a very flexible muscle. For those not so adamant about 'one and only soulmate' it is obvious that the heart can stretch to accommodate multiple partners.
As for the multiple partner fantasies I write, what woman in our culture of dysfunctional upbringings wouldn't enjoy being the focus of more than one adoring man? Face it, we're a society made up of the complaint, "I never got enough love/respect/(pick your lack) as a child." So let's make up for it with extra imaginary men to fill those psychological and physical holes in our lives. When it comes to fantasy, the more the merrier.