Friday, March 9, 2012

Positions, Please 6

Please be warned this blog contains a frank discussion on anal intercourse.  If this will offend you in any way, do not read further.  As always, I am not a licensed sex therapist and can assume no responsibility for your experimentation.  Please be safe and consult with expert advice when needed.

As my readers have no doubt noticed, anal play occurs often in my books.  While my characters all enjoy indulging in this form of lovemaking, not everyone in real life does.  Some women find anal intercourse arousing enough that they achieve orgasm through it.  Some women can take it or leave it.  And some women just flat out despise it.  Everyone is different, and no one’s attitude is wrong.  It’s simply a matter of preference and comfort.

For those of you who haven’t tried it but are curious, this post is for you.  These recommendations are culled from several sources who have had experience in anal intercourse.  As with anything having to do with sex, keep it safe, sane, and consensual.  A trusted partner is a must when embarking on this pleasure.


My books are fantasy, and sometimes the heroines jump right into anal intercourse with no preparation whatsoever.  You should not do this.  For the best experience possible, make yourself as ready for it as you possibly can.  The sphincter does not have the give the vagina does, and you don’t want to tear these delicate tissues.  Exercise the greatest care.

First of all, relax yourself as much as possible.  Most women who indulge their men with this delight recommend doing what makes you the most at ease.  A bubble bath, massage, or even a glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage can mitigate tension.  If you do imbibe in alcohol however, please do not overdo it.  You want to be perfectly aware of what is happening at all times during anal intercourse to avoid injury, so getting even tipsy is not recommended.  You’re simply looking to relax.

You may decide to ‘pre-stretch’ that vulnerable area as well.  Anal plugs come in a variety of sizes, allowing you to work your way up to accepting your partner’s endowment with ease.  There are even training kits out there, which contain three plugs in sizes small, medium, and large in one package.  Be sure to use a lot of lubrication and insert very slowly and gently.  And if it hurts, stop.  Give yourself plenty of time to adjust to the plug’s size before moving up to the next or to your partner.

You can also stretch by using your fingers.  You may even enjoy letting your partner do this as a part of foreplay.  Again, lots of lube is recommended, and by all means feel free to use latex gloves as well if preferred. 

There is a product out there called Anal-Ease, which is a de-sensitizing gel.  Most anal practitioners advise against using this product while others swear by it.  The big sticking point with many people is that once Anal-Ease is applied, you may not realize if injury occurs.  This is a valid point, so if you do opt to use a de-sensitizer, you must exercise extra caution.

Playing in the Backyard

Okay, so you’re relaxed and stretched and ready to give anal pleasure a try.  First and foremost, your partner must apply plenty of our best friend – lubricant – to his penis.  However much you think is enough, do twice that.  It’s better to have too much than not enough.

Penetration should be slow and extremely careful.  If there is pain at any point, STOP.  More gradual penetration may help ease the strain, or perhaps more careful stretching is in order.  Or maybe you just aren’t enjoying this activity one bit and should do something else.  There’s no shame in changing your mind and not going any farther.  As I said before, it’s not for everyone.

It may be to your advantage to call the shots and back or lower onto the penis (depending on the position) rather than having your partner direct the action.  That way you can proceed at your own pace and adjust according to what your comfort level dictates. 

As you become used to the feeling of anal penetration, you’ll be able to move faster and more powerfully.  Just remember, there is significantly less give in the rear entrance than in the vagina.  Don’t get crazy and hurt yourself.

Junk in the Trunk

There is the obvious question of the cleanliness of anal intercourse.  This orifice does contain bacteria not good to introduce into the vagina.  So if you move from anal to vaginal intercourse, the penis will have to be well cleaned before making the switch. 

And yes, we know what comes out of that part of the anatomy.  There is a chance fecal matter will be present on the penis when it emerges.  This is not something to be embarrassed about.  If you’re squeamish about dirt, you shouldn’t be playing in the backyard.

Options are available to keep things as clean as possible.  A friend of mine who overheard a comment about ‘traveling the old Hershey highway’ rolled his eyes.  “You hang with some nasty bitches,” he told us with disgust and added, “I douche.”  Indeed, many who indulge in anal play prefer to cleanse before the naughtiness commences.  Condoms are also a good way to keep things hygienic as well as safe when considering the possibility of STDs. 

So there you have it.  With preparation, the right partner, and a comfortable and accepting atmosphere, anal intercourse can be a pleasurable addition to your sexual arsenal.  I wish you good luck and great fun in your bedroom.

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